Trixie hides the revolver Jake gave her in the drawer of Al's desk. She covers it with a cloth and a few pieces of scrap paper with charcoal Chinese characters and scribbled pictures - why Al kept them is a fucking mystery she'll never solve - and shuts it tightly. She thinks of the bottles of whiskey in the bottom drawer and pulls one out to take a long drink and stare out at the still thoroughfare. If she pretends everyone in the camp's just asleep then it almost seems like home.
She would've shot that man, and he would've fucking deserved it for what he did to Anna and her sister, but then Harry would've seen her for what she really was and she's got a precarious fucking grip on that illusion as it is.
She takes another shot and goes about her day, not drunk but with enough of a buzz that she stops thinking about the gun temporarily. Morning meal first - she's apparently taken over the galley which is fucking hilarious to her, as Jewel was the cook for the saloon and Trixie could barely boil a pot of tea but apparently no one got the message here - then cleaning up, a check in with Sabriel and Anna, and starting on the evening meal.
Out of all her tasks for the day she's the most anxious to talk to her girls. Sabriel had a rough time, being trapped in a fucking portrait by a fairy and all, and Anna's probably not doing so hot now that her man's gone back to Arendelle. It makes her want to chain smoke up deck when she thinks about what this place did to them.
In the evening after dinner she goes back to her room and sits at Al Swearengen's desk, thinking about the gun and the whiskey again. Happiness is like a carrot on a fucking stick, and it makes her want to scream in frustration. Why, why can't she just react to things in a normal fucking way?
She would've shot that man, and he would've fucking deserved it for what he did to Anna and her sister, but then Harry would've seen her for what she really was and she's got a precarious fucking grip on that illusion as it is.
She takes another shot and goes about her day, not drunk but with enough of a buzz that she stops thinking about the gun temporarily. Morning meal first - she's apparently taken over the galley which is fucking hilarious to her, as Jewel was the cook for the saloon and Trixie could barely boil a pot of tea but apparently no one got the message here - then cleaning up, a check in with Sabriel and Anna, and starting on the evening meal.
Out of all her tasks for the day she's the most anxious to talk to her girls. Sabriel had a rough time, being trapped in a fucking portrait by a fairy and all, and Anna's probably not doing so hot now that her man's gone back to Arendelle. It makes her want to chain smoke up deck when she thinks about what this place did to them.
In the evening after dinner she goes back to her room and sits at Al Swearengen's desk, thinking about the gun and the whiskey again. Happiness is like a carrot on a fucking stick, and it makes her want to scream in frustration. Why, why can't she just react to things in a normal fucking way?
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